Teens say family court shouldn’t force them to have relationship with dad

Ethan* and Mason* have told professional after professional that they don’t want to see their dad.
And now, because they won’t go, the 16-year-old and 13-year-old might be put in an out-of-home treatment facility, a remedy typically reserved for delinquent juveniles.
The Special Master assigned to the family court case, Jennifer Joseph, is also considering blocking them from seeing or talking to their mom at all for 30-120 days, and reversing custody to their father.
Neither of the teenagers have had contact with the police outside of issues with their father. There have not been any allegations that they get into fights, abuse drugs or alcohol, or gotten into trouble. They play on sports teams and maintain their grades, yet they might be put into full-time treatment, a move advocates across the country have called out as extreme measures for custody cases.
Laws have been passed in Colorado (HB24-1350), Arizona (SB 1372), California (SB 331, Piqui’s Law), Tennessee (HB940 / SB 722), Utah (HB 272, Om’s Law), and New Hampshire (HB 306) prohibiting courts from ordering reunification treatments that are unregulated, coercive, or lacking in scientific support – particularly those that sever children from safe, bonded parents or ignore the behavior of abusive parents. A similar bill is making its way through the Texas legislature (HB 3783).
Additionally, a recent Minnesota Department of Health report has found that out-of-home placements are linked to poorer outcomes related to education, employment, housing, income, physical health, mental health, and substance use.
It all started before 13-year-old Mason was even born. His dad was violent to his mom while his three-year-old brother Ethan was in the house. An order for protection was granted to his mom (that his dad broke immediately), along with a Safe-At-Home address for additional protection.
Over the last 13 years, child protection has been involved multiple times regarding incidents at dad’s house. The teenagers have been in some sort of therapy continuously since then.
They’ve talked to their own therapists, family therapists, custody evaluators, child protection service (CPS), parenting consultants (PCs), a guardian ad litem, a mediator doing a Brief Focused Assessment, and a special master. They asked social workers and teachers for help. When he was young, Ethan wrote on school assignments, “Please don’t make me go.”
They’ve written letters to their dad telling him they don’t want to see him and explaining why. They’ve asked him to stop pushing things, to stop calling the cops when they won’t go, and to stop bringing the issue to court. They point out that it isn’t a relationship when you need to ask the police to force your children to see you. They have told him they’re angry at him for involving the cops, for refusing to let them see their friends or participate in activities when they’re with him, for yelling at them, and for scaring them.
When the court insisted that the kids needed to be on a 50/50 schedule, they went for a time but then started refusing to get out of the car to go with their dad. When the court ordered pick-up exchanges at their schools, they started sneaking out the back door and went to their friends’ homes. Their dad called the police who pulled in helicopters to search the Roseville area for them. Eventually, the school district had enough and asked Ramsey County Family Court to keep them out of it and have pick-up take place somewhere else.
Samantha Colai worked as their family therapist from 2022-2024 after the boys had left school multiple times to avoid going to their dad’s house. After speaking with them, she agreed that the first step was to counsel the parents, who have been labeled as “high-conflict” by the court. Dad has accused mom for years of “alienating” the kids from him (see sidebar for more about the theory that is not backed by science), and puts the blame on her for him not having a relationship with them. Colai recommended that mom go through EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy with a trauma-informed provider, which she did and completed within the year. Colai recommended that dad go through Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and undergo a comprehensive psychological evaluation.
It took dad three years to follow Colai’s recommendations.
When he asked their former judge, James Street, for a special master (before he stepped off the bench to become a special master), Judge Street declined, and encouraged dad to do the work Colai advised.

SPECIAL MASTER ORDERED DESPITE LAW PROHIBITING IT ON LOW-INCOME CASES 
A special master was appointed in August 2023 to ensure that the teenagers see their dad for the twice-a-month dinners as recommended by Peggy Cotrell of Moxie, a psychologist who did a Brief Focused Assessment. (Cotrell, notably, did not recommended that the boys return to spending overnights with their dad or see him more often than twice a month). The special master (who is an attorney) was appointed in an effort to keep the family out of court, but now they are meeting once a month and paying $400 an hour. This is charged for the one to two-hour-long monthly meetings, as well as for the special master to communicate with the family therapist, attorneys, and parents in between sessions. Dad has paid for most of it outright, and then asked the court to compel mom to reimburse him.
Mom is on welfare benefits in order to pay the bills, as she exhausted her savings to pay for legal fees, therapy bills, and medical bills over the last 13 years. (Dad has yet to reimburse her for therapy bills from 2013-2017.) She rents a house. Following a review of her tax returns each year, she qualifies for in forma pauperis (IP) status with Ramsey County. State law specifies that someone who can’t afford it can’t be ordered to use a special master, but it was still ordered by Judge JaPaul Harris in 2023 (who has since been appointed to the appeals court and is no longer overseeing this case).
Meanwhile, dad earns a substantial income and enjoys an upper-middle class lifestyle. He pays $223 a month in child support, although mom has had the two teenagers full-time for nearly four years.

FAMILY THERAPIST DIDN’T PROVIDE TREATMENT PLAN FOR 8 MONTHS
The family has been meeting with Cara Coro of Navigating Life, although it is has been unclear what her role and training is regarding domestic violence, child abuse, and coercive control dynamics. A licensed clinical social worker, she began attending dinners with the teenagers and their dad. She has held sessions at her home in Eden Prairie when her husband is present, and most recently at Joseph’s office in the Midway area of St. Paul. She began meeting with the family in September 2024, and didn’t provide a written treatment plan until May 2025 (Minnesota State law requires a treatment plan within 30 days of a request). Although mom asked for the treatment plan and her billing details during sessions and multiple times in writing beginning in December, she was ordered to attend an in-person meeting with Coro and the special master in order to receive it in May 2025. At that point, Coro hadn’t seen the boys for 85 days.
Although Coro advertises that she takes Medical Assistance, she has been billing mom directly for sessions through multiple businesses. When mom’s credit card was charged over the limit, Coro brought the issue up in sessions with mom and dad present, breaking confidentiality between individual clients. Thus far, she has billed mom over $2,860, although it is difficult to find all the billing records and they have yet to be provided to mom.
Coro’s adult child, M Boulette, works as an attorney in the same law firm as dad’s attorney, Victoria Brenner, who is a partner at Taft Stettinius & Hollister in Minneapolis. When mom questioned the possible conflict of interest and asked why it hadn’t been disclosed, she was not given a response.
On Feb. 19, 2025, Coro called the police after the teenagers left her office during a session. She had been pulling them out of school for one to three-hour long meetings with her and their dad for a few weeks, and not concluding a session until she deemed that they had successfully completed an assignment. This meant that the teenagers did not know how long a session would last and how many classes they would miss. Sixteen-year-old Ethan was taking three AP classes with a significant homework load even when the class lecture was not missed, and was on the swim team this winter. He was unable to compete on days that he missed tests. His grades began to decline immediately when the sessions during school days began, dropping him from an A to a C. “It’s hard to keep up with school,” said Ethan.
Mason was in an accelerated class, and earned Student of the Month at his middle school, but missed his award ceremony because of the session with Coro.

THERAPIST CALLS POLICE ON TEENS
According to the 911 call on Feb. 19, Coro told the officers that the teenagers had insisted that they be let out of her office, where she was blocking the door. Eventually, she stepped aside. They left the room at different times and went out of the building via two different doors. The teens were later found by police at their respective schools a few miles away. Ethan was taking a math exam.
Coro told the 911 operator that the children were running down the street. When asked, she replied that they were going to school. The 911 operator responded, “Shouldn’t they be in school, ma’am?”
According to paperwork filed by the special master with Ramsey Court in mid-May, Coro is currently being investigated by the state social work licensing board, who have received multiple complaints.

TEENS: ‘THEY ASK US QUESTIONS AND THEN DISREGARD OUR ANSWERS’
Coro states that the teens demonstrate minimal engagement in therapeutic interventions with her. They “present as ‘irritated and stuck.’” She states that they are not giving details about why they are upset at their father, and labels them as having “limited, maladaptive coping strategies” as exhibited by their running away.
Mason said, “They ask us questions and then completely disregard our answers. She doesn’t really care how we feel and just goes ahead with whatever plan she previously had. If we’re overwhelmed, she won’t let us leave. When we repeatedly tell her we feel unsafe and are overwhelmed, she blocks the door and tells us to sit down and then tells us we don’t like to take no for an answer.”
The teens are frustrated she’s labeled them as “runaways” and “flight risks.”
“They don’t actually do what’s best for us,” said Mason. “They do what’s best for their paychecks.”
Mason added, “She said she was going to write up something to say I’d never have to see my dad again.” That was in December 2024. He’s frustrated they went from that to weekly meetings in an office with Coro and his dad after he paid a large bill for services. Coro is currently being sued by CitiBank for not paying credit card debt.
“She tells us that our mom is controlling and telling us lies,” said Ethan. “I’m pretty sure that Cara is the brainwash person,” remarked Mason.
Ethan pointed out that his “mom gave us a speech about the dire consequences that would follow if we failed to comply with the demands set forth by her and the Justice System.” She grounded them from their phones, computers, electronics, and friends, and took away Ethan’s car privileges, as advised to do by professionals. Mason observed that his mom encouraged them to go to therapy, and said things like, “It’ll be fine,” and “she’s not going to hurt you."
“There is nothing my mom or anyone can do to make me go to therapy. I no longer care for the ideals or consequences they have tried to force upon me or my brother,” Ethan stated.
Mason added, “They’ve lost all trust to a level they can’t regain.”
Both teenagers point out that they’re being told that learning to communicate is one of their treatment goals. “We’ll tell her one thing and then she’ll make it like we told her something completely different,” said Mason.
“She says, ‘I don’t believe you,’” said Ethan. “She tells us we’re all liars and only our dad has the facts.”
Ethan added, “We don’t trust her. She’s not respectful of our boundaries and our needs.”
They struggle to remember the names of all of the professionals they’ve talked to over the years. “It’s hard to keep track of people,” said Mason. “I don’t keep track. I don’t remember their names,” said Ethan.
But this is what they do remember: “They think kids are dumb and stubborn,” said Mason. “Most believe kids should have a relationship with their dad.”
“I don’t think he’s proven that he’s a good adult,” said Ethan.
They talked to the special master last year. “You could tell what she wanted from the start,” said Mason. “Us to go back to part-time or full-time with our dad. You can tell by how they act and their questions. They say the goal is to have a growth mindset. But they all tend to have a fixed mindset – they want us to go back to him.”
“We’ve been at this for 13 years. I don’t think they’re fixing anything,” said Ethan. “We keep doing the same things over and over.”
“The more they do, the smaller the chance of us having a relationship with our dad,” said Mason.

‘YOU CAN'T FORCE RELATIONSHIPS' 
On Feb. 19, the day the therapist called the police on the teens, Mason recalls that Coro told him that if he wrote something down that then he could leave and go back to school. “She said, ‘If you want to go to school, then do what I say,’” said Mason. “So I did it.” He had two tests that day, and his brother had an AP math test.
But Coro didn’t let him leave after he did what she told him to, he says. Instead, she told him to do another thing. And that’s when he asked to take a break in the lobby. That’s when she blocked the door so he couldn’t get out. As Mason began to exhibit signs of a panic attack, Coro and their dad continued to insist that he sit down and do what they said to. At no point did they suggest ways to help him manage the panic attack. Instead, she told him that he doesn’t like the word “no.” Their dad said, “This isn’t funny, anymore.” Eventually, Coro stepped away from the door and Mason exited. Coro and their dad asked Ethan to intervene and get his brother to do what he was told. After they left the room, Ethan also left.
Neither Coro nor the special master provided their mom (who has full legal custody) with details about the incident for three months. Instead, the teens told their mom they were scared and weren’t going back for another session, and she reached out to Coro and Joseph for information. Coro continued to schedule sessions and then ask their mom why they hadn’t attended, telling their mom that she was at fault for not bringing them. The teens continued to attend school each day, and their grades went back up. In addition to their accelerated academic classes, they were also both in sporting activities.
“I’ve spent my first 13 years in and out of therapy,” said Ethan. “I wish for a life. Just let me do what I want to do. I ran away to take a math test. They reported me missing.”
“I was in history class,” added Mason.
“You can’t force relationships,” said Ethan. “You should let them mature on their own and not be forced into something.”
Both recall what their time was like when they did stay at their dad’s house. “There was yelling or he was grumpy,” said Ethan. “He spent most of the time in his office. We couldn’t go places or see our friends. We couldn’t be in activities. He wouldn’t drive us.” One year, their dad sent the police to retrieve them for a ski vacation in Colorado. Ethan admits that he doesn’t really remember the other incidences that occurred, such as what brought on the child protection involvement (which included food insecurity), something experts say is common with abuse victims.
“Calling the police on your kid is traumatizing – it’s a horrible idea – especially for a nine year old,” said Mason, who was nine when the police were sent to retrieve him at school. “Then telling them they have to see their dad or they’re never see the two people [mom and her partner] who matter the most ever again. ...” He trailed off.
Do the teens think there is a problem with them?
“It’s not about us. There’s a problem with the system and a problem with our dad,” said Ethan, who will be 17 in a month.
*Editor’s note: In writing the articles in this series, I have reviewed dozens of court documents, and reports by professionals. In recognition of the sensitive nature of these articles, we have opted to refer to people by their first names or aliases, and have not used details that can be used to identify the family. This family was also the subject of a previous article in this series titled, “‘Oppressive’ experience:’ 57 hearings, 80 court orders, 12 parenting time schedules.” Jennifer Joseph did not respond to our request to comment on the role of special masters.